


16 Candles

by Adventurer1267



Category: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-27 14:40:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6288532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adventurer1267/pseuds/Adventurer1267
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ponyboy just turned 16. He's going through some changes but so is his friends and family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Birthday Boy

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr is callmekylebroflovski. My Instagram is phd_inclowncollege. You welcome any chats you would Liek to have with me about anything.

Ponyboy Michael Curtis had just turned 16. He would be a junior in a few months. Better classes and older kids. The same kids but maybe, hopefully more mature. His big brothers had threw him a little birthday party, scraping up what cash they had to get their kid brother a present or two. Now it was 8 o'clock, the gang already stayed up outside and watched the sunset. Well..almost everybody did. Darry had to stay in cause the pollen tore him right up. Spring was here, May flowers blooming and kept siblings in. There was cake, not chocolate. When it came to birthdays, the gang got ice cream for desert and a small cake for the birthday boy, whatever flavor they wanted, usually it was a different flavored cake for a change of taste. This year Pony chose strawberry with white icing. That's what he got. He got 16 candles and blew them all out into the dark, making wishes. The crowded living room cheered happily for the teenager. After the candles were blown out, then TwoBit and Sodapop went to the kitchen to make the gangs ice creams. Soda had to push down with all his might to cut into the frozen block of cream. The metal spoon bared into his hand and made him stop and try again. He finally got the scoops and now came the whipped cream. TwoBit's turn. That bastard, he got cocky and played a trick on Sodapop. He subtly knocked his spoon to the floor. 

"Aw, shit, Soda could you get for me?" He asked, innocently. Soda, being a kind person nodded.

"Yeah, sure, man." He bent over and TwoBit kicked the spoon further, under the table. 

"Aw, fuck, sorry dude."

"Nah, s'fine." Soda sighed, grunting as he got to his sore knees. He had been working so hard all week for enough money to get Pony's gift. ((Wait...no)) He had got under hoods, under cars themselves, running the register and even asked his boss for extra work. Since stock was kept up, he got to scrub the DX floor clean. Beyond the clothes was aching, throbbing, almost bloody knees. Soda reached through the chairs and grabbed the spoon. When he sat back up, a hand grabbed the back of his head, blonde hair fitting through his fingers. He stared in surprise as TwoBit grabbed him. TwoBit shook the can in the Blondie's face, at his crotch, looking like he was pleasing himself. The boy above him groaned and moaned. Soda opened his mouth to yell but before a single protest could reach his throat, the cap was put on his tongue and pressed down, cream filing his mouth and out on his face some. Sodapop stared with huge eyes, shocked. The silver spoon dropped and clammered on the hardwood floor. A bit of metled ice cream was with it. He looked to the taller male who was moaning "Aw yeah, take it, baby." Soda soon broke the surprised look and glared, gonna get him back for all that sexual harassment.

He gulped down the white cream and ran his tongue out on his chin to clear off any more. The shorter male hooked his fingers in TwoBit's belt loops on his jeans and pulled him closer. He pressed his lips to his package and darts out his tongue, pushing down the denim flap that hid the silver zipper. Soda bit down, taking the metal piece in his teeth and unzipped his pants. As he lowered back to pull down that strip. Soda looked up at TwoBit with big needy brown eyes. He pulled on his jeans, spreading that denim and flicked his tongue in quick to the briefs so the zipper wouldn't bite him back. He rolled his tongue in the hole of the jeans, dampening his white underpants and bites the denim between his teeth, the button in his mouth and two layers of blue jeans. He lowered himself again and TwoBit's pants start coming off. The taller boy snapped out of the trance he was put into, liking this and getting caught up in the moment. He stopped Soda, pushing him back and whispering. 

"Woah, woah, woah, woah there buddy..." And got his pants back up. TwoBit smirked and got his zipper back up. "Nice mouth there, though. Like to test it out officially, later." He said, winking down at him and ruffling his blonde hair. As for now, they had ice cream to hand out.

Soda cleaned up his mess and made sure he was clean before entering the living room and handing out individual bowls of dessert. The gang was watching some soap opera for now. Later would be an hour long Mickey Mouse show. 

Pony got half way through his small cake when he stopped and leaned back on Darry's legs. The oldest brother sat behind him, in front of the TV while watching the girls on television. Now those icy blue eyes was peering down at Ponyboy. Reddish brown hair strayed on the muscular thighs, the boy sighing. Darry smiled.

"Full?" 

Pony just groaned in response, making whoever was watching laugh. Pony sat back up, snarling at his cake. 

"Not like chocolate..."

"Did you not like it?" TwoBit asked.

"Well...I thought I would. Just wanted to try something different."

"So you wasted it?" Darry looked to TwoBit, winking.

"What?" Pony turned back to his big brother. "I didn't waste it!- I'll still eat it." he said, looking to the pink and white dessert just for him.

"You know what we do with people who waste don't ya?" TwoBit asked, setting down his plastic bowl and spoon. Ponyboy moved back, going to make an escape. Darry set his foot between his kid brother and the coffee table. There was a pause and a few shifty eyes. Pony shot up, only to get a bionic arm around his waist, owned by Superman. TwoBit grabbed his legs and up Pony went, face dangling right over the cake. He was crying out, laughing and screaming for mercy. 

"Ya know what we do with people who waste?!" TwoBit cried. Ponyboy had hold of his siblings strong arm, crying out.

"No-o-o-o!" He was laughing too hard. Down his face went into the cake, icing on him, making a mess of himself. Back up he went, standing on his own two feet now and stumbling back. He fell into Darry and both planted on the couch. The gang was laughing, even old hard heart Dallas.


	2. "You swallowed my cum?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny's romantic feelings are subtly revealed, TwoBit gets a hummer, and the birthday boy needs to read between the lines.

Later on in the night, the gang helped clean up the aftermath of the party. It wasn't much but the dishes had to be clean, party decor taken down and probably put up for the next party. Darry was in the kitchen, drying the bowls and putting them away. Johnny came in, sighing. He took a cigarette from his packet and lit up. The older male turned and smiled at him. 

"Something wrong, Johnnycakes?"

The tanner boy just looked up and heaved another sigh. "Just...life." He said slowly, taking a seat on the counter. "Pony's sixteen now. I'm eighteen. I'm an adult...I feel old." He says with a disgusted look on his face. 

Darry just laughed. "Boy if you feel old now, what till you're my age." He closes the cabinet and walks over while drying off his hands. He slips his fingers in Johnny's pants pocket and takes out the packet of Kools. He steals one off him and slides the box back in the denim. He leans in real close, puts the cig in his mouth and sticks his end to Johnny's, breathing in the smoke and lighting the cherry. He moves back now and let's out a breath. "Going on twenty-three ain't always a good feeling." 

Johnny rolled his eyes some. "Yeah but....you look real good to be twenty three." He says, brown eyes looking his friend over. 

Darry didn't question the look that was given to him. He just laughed. "Well I hope I don't look bad." He took a seat by Johnny and put his head back, hitting the cabinets. The darker boy jumped, looking at Darry. The older just groaned "...Ow." And laughed a little. He blew out smoke and took another draw. 

Johnny eased again and looked down, seeing the pale hand on the counter. It looked lonely, all by itself and no one to hold it. Johnny's eyes darted back up at Darry's. The ice blue color somehow warmed him up. Darry looked at him and Johnny came back to reality. He could never. Johnny was so scared and if he ever thought of making any kind of move on Darry he would die. Johnny just sighed again. 

Darry tilted his head a bit, giving the boy a concerned look. 

"Hey, Johnny, really it's okay." He said with a little chuckle and rested his hand on the boy's jean covered thigh. Johnny's eyes snapped to it. He gave a scared look, his guilty conscience playing him like a fiddle. "We all get to feeling old but, you're just eighteen, there nothing to feel bad about. Your life's just starting."

Johnny let's out the breath he was holding. "Y-yeah...you're right. You're always right, Darry."

 

Upstairs, in Soda's bedroom, he's being pushed down into the mattress by TwoBit Matthews. The brunette was on top, their hips together and grinding desperately in the tight denim. Both of their tongues were fighting for dominance and TwoBit was currently winning. Soda coaxed TwoBit's tongue in his mouth and sucked, making him grunt. TwoBit retracted it and slipped his in again, running it up the roof of Sodapop's mouth real gentle, making him moan and his cock twitch. Soda knows he won't win this way and slaps the other's ass. TwoBit gasps, getting turned on. He growls, almost hungrily.

"Playing dirty huh?" 

TwoBit takes Sodapop's wrists and pins them above his head. He straddles him good and tight and grinds down hard on him, the blue jean barrier only making him try harder. 

Sodapop gulped and rolled his head. "T-TwoBit... Please." He squirms in his hold.

TwoBit smirks. "All right, I'll let you go....if you use that mouth on me." 

The blonde blushed and bit his lip. He paused and gasped when the other started grinding again. 

"O-okay okay! I'll... I'll do it." He gives in. 

"Say it."

"Say what?"

"Say iiit." He emphasizes with rough grinds. 

"Okay! I'll use my mouth on you, TwoBit." He says softer, feeling embarrassed. 

TwoBit smiles and ends the hard friction. He climbs off the blonde's lap and undoes his jeans. Off goes the denim and briefs. 

Sodapop gulps and fully sits up. He moves to the floor and kneels in front of him as TwoBit takes a seat on the bed again. He looks to Twobit and back to his member, kind of unsure. He takes hold of his organ and opens his mouth, licking the tip. He presses his tongue to the hole, slipping his tongue in and swirling his tongue inside the foreskin, he moves it back out and opens his mouth wide, taking him in. 

"Damn...you work real good with that mouth, huh?" TwoBit asks in utter pleasure. He tangles his fingers in the boys hair and pulls him down on his cock. Sodapop moves his hands to the floor, holding himself up, not expecting the push. He gags and fights back up for air. TwoBit does it again, instructing him to breathe through his nose. Soda does so, not gagging so hard now. He let's his friend control him, going with his hands. As he's being face fucked, Soda reaches up and massages his jewels, rubbing them gently. TwoBit let's his head fall back for a moment as he groans out curse words. 

A few more deep throats and TwoBit cums in his mouth. The blonde pulls back and collects the sticky seed in his mouth. He swallows it down and pants softly. The brunette makes Soda look up at him. 

"I'm so sorry dude, I didn't mean to in your mouth I-....did...did you swallow?" He asks, stopping now. Sodapop blinks. 

"Y-yeah, why?"

"You swallowed my cum?" He asks again. 

"Yes." Soda answers, more like questions. 

"That's the hottest thing ever. Cmere." TwoBit says and pulls him up on the bed. 

"W-woah! What?" 

 

Below the room, in the bathroom to be exact, Ponyboy is washing cake off his face. Dallas comes in, smoking. He sees Pony and laughs. He shuts the door and moves to the can. Ponyboy gives a confused look and turns around. 

"What are you doin- uhhhh...." Pony stops, eyes wide as Dallas whips out his member and begins to pee. The birthday boy's face explodes in red, looking everywhere else.   
"Right in front of me?!" He asks, eyes somewhere else. 

"Huh? Oh cmon kid, it ain't like ya never seen one before." 

"Well yeah! But I didn't wanna see yours!" He stammers out and covers his red face with his towel. Dallas stops and flushes. He comes over to the sink and washes his hands. Ponyboy peeks out, seeing Dallas up close and personal. He's between his arms and against his chest and body. 

"Sure ya didn't." Dallas whispers in his ear and wipes his hands off on a clean part of Pony's towel. He leaves the bathroom and a flustered Ponyboy.


	3. Day with Johnny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some stuff goes on with Pony and Dallas that leaves the teen conflicted. Soda has officially hung up his towel for ass preying. Ponyboy spends the day with his best friend Johnny and asks him some pretty personal stuff.

Its been about a week since the youngest gang members birthday. Sodapop and TwoBit haven't really talked since the interactions that last took between them. Johnny was dealing with his feelings for Darry still, just as normal really. The urges and attraction was increasing slowly but surely. And as for Ponyboy, he was being haunted by the actions of the cold soul, Dallas Winston. 

 

Now, its Saturday, Darry had work, Soda and Steve had a few hours of the DX, and Ponyboy got to do what he wished. Johnny would surely come over soon, maybe TwoBit too. ..Maybe Dallas. The auburn haired teen sighs and rolls out of bed. Its 9:39 now and everyone had done and gone to work. He stretches and decides to get a nice hot shower. He heads downstairs, forgetting his clothes and just grabs a towel from the hall closet. He heads to the bathroom and closes the door. Pony opens the small window to keep the room somewhat clear. The boy goes ahead and turns on the shower head and steps out of his briefs. He messes with the knobs and gets it more on the warm side. He steps in and pulls the curtain closed. 

Pony always loved these times in the bath. He could forget his troubles in the hot water. The identity of being a greaser couldn't be found in the shampoo and soap. Everybody looked the same here in the bath. 

"You're the devil in disguise.." He sings softly in the shower, remembering only a few verses of the Elvis song. The water circles the drain and fills with bubbles from Pony's hair. He sighs in the steam and washes his pale body with the old rag and soap bar. He rinses his body off and turns off the water as it starts turning cold. He pulls the curtain back and grabs his blue towel from off the sink and dries his face and hair. He runs the towel down his neck and torso and quickly pats down his legs and between them. He steps out now and walks across the tiled floor and ties the towel on his hips. He opens the door, drawing in a big breath as the cooler air washes in over his hot body. Pony picks his green eyes up and widen as they land on the tall, bleach blonde, ice blue eyed man in his living room. The auburn haired boy tenses. 

"Dallas?" 

The New Yorker smiles as he sits on the arm of the Curtis' couch. He gets up and tosses his Kools pack onto the coffee table. He strides over in a cool sway as he blows out some smoke. Seems he lit up a bit ago. Dallas puts his arm on the wall, above Pony's head. He's towering over the boy. 

"Get a shower there, Ponyboy?"

The teenager glares very mildly, sending more of a confused look. 

"Obviously." He snaps, feeling intimidated by the height gap.

"Don't he a smart ass, kid." He warns, taking his cig and blowing smoke in his face. 

Pony turns his head at first, coughing a bit but starts taking in what's left of the smoke. God, the nicotine wakened his senses. He needed one. The blonde smirks. 

"Ain't smoked in awhile, huh, Pony?" 

"Not yet. Just got up." He says, leaning against the wall now. 

"Wanna drag?" 

Pony nods and reaches up, hoping for it. He moves his hand back in slight embarrassment as Dallas's doesn't give it up just yet. The blonde takes a deep breath and moves the cig from his lips. Pony reaches for it again and gives a confused look as the blonde moves it away and back behind his own head. Pony looks back to him and tenses as Dally creeps closer to him. Dallas brushes their lips together and slowly exhales the smoke into the teenager. Pony is light headed and dizzy as the man touches his lips. Dallas moves back and smiles at him. He moves the cancer stick into Ponyboy's mouth, letting him have it. 

"You're dripping everywhere, let's go get you dressed." The blonde suggests and leads the teenager to his bedroom. Water pips down wherever the 16 year old steps. The teen's head is spinning. What the hell was going on? Dallas Winston just blew his smoke into him. Now he's gonna dress him? What? 

The older male messes around in his chest of drawers until he finds some briefs and brings them over to the younger. He kneels and looks up at the dripping boy. 

"Move your towel, Pony." He says but Ponyboy is frozen. He's so unsure. This was Dallas Winston. The Dallas Winston. Fuck. 

"What are ya gonna do?" He asks, eyes squinting in suspicion. Dallas gives him a look, glances to the underwear then back into the green orbs. 

"What the fuck do you think I'm gonna do? I'm gonna dress you." 

"...." Pony keeps squinting. "...why?"

"-oh Goddamn, Pony, take off the damn towel already." He snaps, frustrated with people thinking he was /that/ much of a sick fucker. ...then again..-

Pony groans and tosses the towel to the floor behind them. He tenses as the ice blue eyes take him in. Up and down they move, memorizing his frame. They finally snap to his feet. Dallas lowers the briefs to the teens feet, ready to put them on now. Pony firmly grabs hold of the man's shoulder. He shifts his weight to it and his left side, doing this twice as he steps into the underwear. Dallas takes his time pulling the garment up his muscular legs. Track looked good on the boy. The briefs finally reach their destination after moments of staring and grazing of skin. 

"Go pick out an outfit, Kid." Dallas instructs and stands, rubbing his knees. That hardwood floor could do a number on your joints. Ponyboy does so. He's blushing and flustered, but still does so. He returns to the blonde with a pair of old blue jeans and one of Darry's old shirts. Pony loved em cause they were so worn and felt so comfy and baggy on him. Usually he'd wear a muscle shirt or sleeveless one, but he just wanted to feel comfy, kind of like his big brother was hugging him all day long.   
Dallas looks the outfit over. He nods and bends over, helping him get the jeans on. He takes his sweet time, feeling the young body. Ponyboy watches the large hands roaming his lower half. His breath hitches as they slide over his ass and move the the front. Dallas buttons and zips his pants for him. Now the shirt. Pony raised his arms above his head and let the shirt cascade over his much smaller frame. He gasps in surprise and back up some as his nipples are brushed over. Dallas apologizes for the slight touch, hiding his smirk. 

"Just pulling the shirt down." He says as an excuse. Pony nods once, his face burning. He knew better than that. Once the shirt is on, he gets his own socks and sneakers. Dallas sits with him on the bed still. Its awkward. Ponyboy just felt...funny. After he gets his shoes on, he combs his wet hair and puts on some cologne and deodorant. He bites his lip and scans the room over. "Okay...well, I'm gonna go. I'm meeting Johnny over at the lot so." He makes up, trying to get out of this room. 

"Wait, Ponyboy-" Dallas says, sitting up quick. The teen keeps walking. "Sorry, Dally, I'm on a tight schedule, I'll see ya later, Kay?" He hollers and bolts, needing out of this damn house. 

 

Sodapop sits in his swivel chair, whirling about slowly behind the counter of the DX. Steve soon come through, groaning and sweating. He heads to the cold drinks and grabs a beer. 

"Shouldn't be drinking on the job." Soda says, still whirling in a slow rotation. Steve sends him a look, strides over and lays down some money flat on the counter. Soda stops and looks down to the money.   
"There we go." He says casually. He puts it in the register as his best friend pops open his beverage. 

"I tell ya what, that damn car in there is a fucken nightmare." Steve states, nodding to the garage. 

"Yeah? What's wrong with it?" 

"What /ain't/ wrong with it?" He answers with another question. Soda just rolls his eyes. The cuter boy leans back in his chair and feels that weird sick feeling come on. He's been in this damn chair for too long. He gets the same sickness when he sings or rides in the truck for too long of a time. He stands up and heaves himself up onto the counter. 

"So hey, I been wondering, what do you think about me, you and TwoBit go drinking at Buck's tonight?" 

Sodapop already feels like throwing up. 

"Dude, no." 

"...what?" Steve asks, taken back. 

"Man, we go out every Saturday to Buck's and drink. I don't wanna do that again. I just wanna go home. I wanna go get some sleep, eat something, spend time with Pony." He says, genuinely missing his lil bro. 

"Pony? Why him?" His friend asks, snarling. 

"Cause he's my kid brother?" Soda answers, more like a question and sends a look to him. 

"Yeah, you're /kid/ brother. Kids aren't good wingmans, dude. You're just gonna get cock blocked." He says, sipping his beer again. 

"Steve, I ain't gonna get cock blocked because I ain't looking for some ass. I just wanna spend some time with my little brother." He says, getting frustrated. He hops off the counter and walks around to the front, looking him in the eye. "Do you understand?"

Steve tongues his lip. He nods and raises his brows once. He heads back out to the garage with his can of beer in hand. "Gotcha, Soda." 

The blonde watches him leave and groans immediately after the door is shut. Could this day not go by faster?

 

"Johnny. Hey, Johnny." Ponyboy says, a little bit louder the second time. He gently shakes his friend awake. The colored boy's brown eyes flutter open. 

"Hmn?" He hums out, wanting to sleep. 

"Cmon. Get up." 

"Why?" 

"What the hell ya mean 'why?' -cmon! Let's go do something." 

Johnny sighs and sits up. He rubs his eyes and runs his fingers through his greasy hair. He takes another breath and gets up finally. He stretches and grunts. God, it felt good. He may not have had any money, might not have been born live a silver spoon in his mouth, or live like the rich kids lived, but stretching still felt like the beat damn thing around. Especially after sleeping in a lot all night.

The two boys start walking down the street. Both are sort of in a daze. One from sleep and the other from trying to figure something out. Pony chews on his bottom lip for awhile before finally speaking. 

"Got any ideas for what to do today?" He asks while shoving his hands in his pockets. Johnny tries his hardest to think right now. 

"....I really gotta pee." He says, looking up to him and stopping. Pony stops too. 

"Oh." 

The boys find an alley to go in. They shake twice and carefully tuck themselves back in their briefs and do their pants back up. They head back out to the sidewalk and keep walking. 

"...I got some money from my Aunt Judy out in Colorado yesterday for my birthday." Pony says. "Wanna go get something to eat?" Johnny looks up.

"Hell yes." He answers, making his best friend laugh. They cut over to the Dingo and order some hamburgers and milkshakes. Pony sits with his best bud at a table. He can't stop thinking about Dallas. He unwraps his burger and bites into it. He thinks, maybe it would taste better without the fear and sadness.   
"Hey, Johnny?" 

The abused boy looks up, chewing still. Two huge bites were already out of it. 

"Hmn?" He grunts, swallowing down the greasy goodness. Ponyboy purses his lips and looks around. If someone heard him, they'd be dead. It could wait. Pony looks back to him. He shakes his head. 

"I'll tell ya later." 

Johnny wonders what it was that was bothering his friend, but the food was gaining his attention more. Both boys eat their meals and drink their milkshakes. Pony finished first and respectfully waits for Johnny to finish before standing and taking their trash. Johnnycakes follows behind his younger friend, letting him lead the way to their next destination. Pony dips his hand in his pockets and feels the loose change there. He turns back to the ebony boy. 

"Wanna go to the train tracks?" He asks. Johnny nods after thinking for a moment. 

"Sure." 

"Okay, but we gotta get some Kools first." 

"Okay. Wanna stop at the corner store?" 

"Yeah, then we'll just go from there."

The boys walk down the busy street together, just having small talk. They cut across the street to the corner store and get a pack of Kools. They light up after they leave and start for the tracks. Ponyboy looks to his hand, seeing the cigarette and only think of this morning with Dallas. Their lips touching just barely, dressing him, touching his nipples. The more he thinks about it, the more Ponyboy considers it truly being an accident. It had to be. Dallas wouldn't do that. He also wouldn't dress him or blow smoke into him. It had to be a fever dream or something. He looks over at Johnny and clears his throat. 

"Hey, Johnny?" 

Johnny turns his head.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Course, Pony. Anything." He answers, his brows furrowing. Now the boy was fully awake and ready to tend to his best friend's needs.

"....have...you ever been with a girl?" 

Johnny stops, hesitant for a moment. Pony could ask him anything, he just...didn't expect that to come out of his mouth. 

"What do you mean?" He asks, feeling his heart beat a little harder.

"Like...have you ever fucked a girl?"

That time, Johnny choked. It took a bit to catch his breath and be able to breathe again in his cloud of smoke and shock. 

"Ponyboy, you don't....jesus- you ain't gotta say it like that!" 

"Sorry." Pony apologizes, shyly. 

"But...yes. I've had sex before." He admits.

"What? Really?" Pony asks, his time to be shocked. Johnny can't help but glare. 

"....Geez, thanks for having faith in me." He drones out in sarcasm. He takes another draw off his cig. 

"Well, I mean...I just didn't expect-"

"That I could do it?" 

"...Yeah." 

Johnny rolls his eyes and keeps looking forward. 

"So...how was it?" Pony asks, intrigued.

"It was good. Ya know...for my first time. I came kinda early...couldn't help it." He admits, getting personal here with him. 

"Did you like it?" 

"Yeah, of course. It felt good. But..." 

"..but what?"

Johnny shakes his head and moves his bottom lip out some. "Just...it was kind of a mess." 

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it was really emotional, I just did it for my first time, it wasn't for her. She was drunk off her ass and had pity on me for being a virgin." He clears his throat. "It wasn't as fun as I had hoped." 

"What?" Pony furrows his brows. He heard so many sex stories from the gang, even his own brothers, really just Sodapop, and none had ever said something like that. Sex was sex and it was something you did and scored and strived for. Never something so sensitive as this. But then again, it was Johnny and sensitivity is what Ponyboy loved about him. 

"It could've been better. I probably should've waited or...at least loved someone before I did that. I didn't even know her. She just wanted to take it. And it was like...ya know- the guys were telling people and she acted like she was taking on for the team by doing it. Everyone acted like I was so desperate for it but I wasn't. I was fine like I was." He says and finally glances over at his younger friend. "It really hurt, Pony." He admits and looks back to the sidewalk. 

Pony stares with concern in his eyes and his jaw slack. Damn. ...that was tense. Maybe Johnny could find a real nice girl to love and finally be close with like that. He deserved some kind of happier lil ending. Ending of virginity and innocence.

The boys cut down an alley and jump a fence. They walk the tracks and just talk. They keep looking over their shoulders, waiting for a train. Soon Ponyboy spots one. He couldn't help but jump in surprise by it. It made Johnny laugh, him too. They boys start setting down coins on the tracks. Both hurry and move back against the fence that surround them. They wait and finally the train run over them. It takes longer to wait for the train to end. Both boys question if it very would end. But it does and they carefully collect their now stretched out coins. 

"Hey, Johnny?" 

"Yes, Pony?" He answers, looking over his cool coins. 

"Do you ever think about having sex again?" 

"Sometimes."

"Why don't you?"

"Just don't wanna." 

"Doesn't it feel nice?"

"Yeah but, I'd rather not get into it."

"Oh." 

"Yeah." 

The boys stay silent for a bit. 

"Wanna go see a movie?" Pony asks. 

"Sure." Johnny answers and they head to the movie house.


	4. You Could Even Blow Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Soda get into it, TwoBit and the middle sibling of the Curtis brothers get into a heart wrenching talk. Johnny gets one of Darry's old shirts, the gang starts a bonfire, but mostly, Johnny and Darry share a sweet moment.

Sodapop gets a ride home from Steve after work. He's been more quiet than normal, trying to think and dodge the reoccurring question from his best friend. Why didn't he want to go out? What was he suppose to say? 'Steve, I'm a lil queer and I don't wanna hang around TwoBit right now cause we kind of screwed around some.' That'd do it. 

The blonde boy sighs and closes his eyes as the wind blow through the rolled down window of the old truck. He peacefully listens to the Beatles on the radio. Maybe if he pushed his problems away, they wouldn't be true. He'd be perfectly normal. 

"Hey, Soda?" Steve asks, turning down the radio. 

Fucken Hell. 

"Yeah?" Soda answers, lazily opening his eyes some. 

"How come you don't-" 

Oh dear fucken shit. The pretty boy let's out another sigh, mixed with a groan as he sits up and rubs his head. 

"Steve, I just don't feel like it." 

"...this about Sandy?" He asks, glancing between him and the road. Soda furrows his brows and starts shaking his head. He moves his hands up his face, to his hair and knocks off the DX hat into the seat. 

"No, Steve. It's not about Sandy. I just don't wanna drink and fuck and go to Buck's and be around other drunk fuckers, okay?" He snaps, getting frustrated with this petty repetition. Steve rolls his eyes and pulls over, stopping at the curb. 

"Sure, whatever, Sodapop." He replies and waits for his bud to climb out and walk around the truck. Steve pulls off, going back into the right lane. 

The blonde feels too conflicted. Steve didn't even say goodbye. Besides, why did he have to be hung up on a girl for him not want to party? He was 19 now. He wasn't a wild teenager anymore. He barely was in the first place. The most rowdy thing he ever did was get arrested for disturbing the peace. It wasn't like he lived to drink and screw. That wasn't him. That was TwoBit Matthews and, a less successful, Steve Randall. 

The man growls to himself as he rubs his head and enters his house. He looks up as he's taking his hat off and sees TwoBit on his couch, drinking a beer and watching the Andy Griffith Show. It was just the boy's day. The best damn day of all. 

Soda tosses his hat to the couch. Darry had nagged him about leaving his stuff on the couch but today he just wanted to take part in his annoying habits. 

"Hey there, Blondie." TwoBit greets, not looking up just yet. "Where's Steve?" He asks, now moving his eyes to the male. 

"I don't know, why do I have to be with Steve all the time?" He asks, finding that aggravating. 

"You don't have to. You just usually are."

"Well keep drinking, soon you won't be able to notice a damn thing." He spits, being harsh in comparison to his usual sweet self. He starts walking to the kitchen, in search of a glass and some milk. TwoBit furrows his brows and puts his beer on the coffee table. He follows the blonde, hurt by his previous statement. 

"What's that suppose to mean?" He asks, calmly, not trying to pick a fight. However, no matter the tone, Sodapop treats it like he is. 

"Why? You gonna fight me in my own damn house?" He asks as he reaches above his head and opens a cabinet. 

"No...I just wanna know what you mean." He answers in a much shyer voice than what was known to be his. His gray eyes watch the other grab his glass and walk to the fridge. Soda puts his glass on the kitchen table in a rather aggressive manner. "Why are you so angry?"

"I'm not angry." Soda says, trying to believe it. It was hard to make what he said true when his nerves were shot. He twists off the cap to the milk jug and pours his glass 3/4ths the way full. He closes the milk and takes a sip from his glass. He chokes and spits it back into the glass. TwoBit backs up as he stares in confusion. Soda coughs up the milk and turns the jugs over, looking at the date. He growls. 

"Goddammit!" He hisses, raising his voice. He slams the glass to the sink, shattering it. It's only a few moments, but the blonde blacks out for a short episode. He walks to the back door, rips it open and chucks the jug into the back yard. Soda breathes deep and heavy for a minute as he calm down quickly. He pauses and puts his hand to his head. Good Lord. He done busted a glass and threw a jug of milk into his backyard all over nothing. It was just old. Just milk. He didn't even spill it or make a mess with it. It just turned. So...why was he being so violent? 

"Soda?" Asks a gentle, yet husky voice. 

Sodapop lifts his dark brown eyes up to meet the gray ones. His eyelashes felt wet against his cheeks. Was he crying? He lifts his hand up to touch his heated cheeks. His fingertips were wet after removal. He was crying. 

"...Soda, its okay." TwoBit says, trying to soothe him. Soda shakes his head. 

"No...its not." He says, matter of factly. He pushes past the taller male and walks to his bedroom. He ignores the discarded hat on the couch, the plastic jug of turned dairy in the yard, and the broken shards of glass circling with milk down the drain. Best damn day ever.  
TwoBit let's Sodapop leave. He'd give him some time to blow off some steam. He didn't know what was wrong but it was enough to break down the boy. The rusty haired man takes a breath and decides to do him a solid by cleaning up the mess. TwoBit was 20 years old and still had his momma cleaning up his messes. So, washing off shards of glass and throwing them away with a milk carton, is a pretty big deal. 

The jokester checks the old clock hanging up in the Curtis's kitchen. It was already 3:20. He sighs and makes his way to Soda and Pony's room. He knocks on the door, hesitantly. 

"Soda?"

"What?" The blonde finally groans out after a moment. 

"Can I come in?" 

"Why?"

"I just wanna talk to you." He says, feeling a little weird. When did Soda cry? Or get so pissed off? Or hide in his room? Especially away from a gang member. A friend. 

"...Fine." 

TwoBit opens the door and quietly enters. He looks to his friend and takes a seat beside him on the bed.

"...what's wrong?" He asks delicately.

Sodapop keeps his head turned away. He couldn't stand to make eye contact. Not with him. Not crying. 

"TwoBit.... We did things." 

"So?"

"So?" Soda asks, furrowing his brows. "TwoBit, we did queer things. Awful things that two men shouldn't. I-I had your dick in my mouth and you...you gave me a handjob- does that not scare you?" He asks, finally looking at him, but with bewildered eyes. TwoBit stiffens as his chest constricts. He's hurt. That cut him deep. 

"No, Soda. I mean...it does to some degree but...ya know. I thought you were cool about it." He says, very softly. 

"Cool? Dude...we fucked around with each other-"

"Yeah, I got that Soda. I like boys and girls. I have forever. And I liked you. I still do. I was just joking that night with the whipped cream- I didn't think we'd do all that but...it meant the world to me still. I made precious memories with you." TwoBit looks into his friends brown eyes. "...I'm sorry you don't feel the same. I thought you were okay with it. I was wrong." He mumbles and stands now he makes his way to the door. "We'll just forget it then. Like it didn't happen, okay?" He suggests as he opens the door and walks to the other side. "I'd hate to keep haunting ya like that." 

Soda stares with furrowed brows as the door slick shut and his friend walks away from his room. His eyes drop to his hands that are clutching the sheets. Tears roll down slowly as he blinks. He sniffles. Best damn day ever.

 

Its nearing 5 o'clock when the boys leave the movie house. Johnny's shaken. He told Ponyboy they shouldn't go see that scary movie. They should just go watch To Kill A Mockingbird but nooooo, Ponyboy wanted to watch Psycho. How was he ever suppose to take a shower now? He'd be afraid of getting stabbed and murdered while washing his hair. What if someone was watching while he had his eyes closed? He'd never know. Pony sighs, knowing Johnny was scared and pretty pissed. It was a good movie, though. 

"You ready to head back?" Pony asks. Johnny nods. 

"Yeah. Might as well. We can hang out with Soda and Steve and watch some TV."

"Man, Soda's been acting weird." Pony says, stuffing his hands into his pockets. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean, for like a week, he's been acting nervous and kind of jumpy. Like a subtle version of you." He says with a smile forming at the end.  
"Oh, haha." The older boy says sarcastically as he rolls his eyes. "Really, what's wrong with him?" 

"..he just...its like he's stuck on something but he hasn't said anything to me about it." He says, getting serious again. Johnny shrugs.  
"Maybe he's just working some stuff out. Have you asked him?" 

"No. Usually Soda tells me stuff without me having to ask." 

"Well, Pony, everybody needs some attention sometimes, without having to ask for it. Just go ahead and talk to him first. I'm sure he'll tell you whatever's on his mind." 

"Yeah. Okay, Johnny. I'll give it a shot." He says, starting to plan it out in his head. 

"Hey, Pony?" 

"Yeah?"

"I've been meaning to ask, whose shirt are you wearing?" 

"Oh, it's Darry's." The auburn teen says with a smile as he looks down at the baggy shirt. Johnny's eyes widen. He clears his throat and stares at the shirt. 

"Is it a handmedown?" 

"Yeah." 

"Do you have more?"

"Yeah..why?"

"Do you think I could have one of his shirts?"

"Yyyeah but why, man?"

"cause - all of my shirts are so worn out and torn and tight and Darry always keeps his clothes in good condition and I'd just like one." He says real fast. 

"Okay dude. We'll find ya one when we get there." He says with a smile. Johnny fights the urge jump around so excited. 

 

Soon the boys arrive at the Curtis house. They enter the gate and up the steps. Johnny can barely wait. He's so excited. Ponyboy leads him through the well known house and to his bedroom. Pony ignores the thoughts that haunt his mind as he enters and bugs through his dresser. He pulls out a nice black baggy tee shirt from his drawer. 

"Oh, here's a good one." Pony says and holds it up. It has '62 on the back of it. Johnny makes a confused face.

"Why does it say 62?"

"Oh- that was when Darry was suppose to graduate. They gave him this his freshman year." Pony explains as he looks the shirt over. Pony hands it to him. Johnny stares at it and holds it delicately. He smiles. 

"Oh- do you want a shower before you out that on?" 

Johnny snaps his eyes up. 

"....you have to sit in there with me." 

"What? Are you scared of that movie-"

"You have to, Pony!" 

Ponyboy laughs and nods. "Okay, man." 

 

Its about 6 when Johnny and Ponyboy settle down on the couch and watch My Three Sons. Johnny is resting, feeling clean and good in his crushes baggy shirt and some of Pony's boxers while his clothes are being washed. 

Pony furrows his brows. 

"Hey, have you seen Soda or Steve?" 

Johnny looks to him and shakes his head. 

"No. I haven't seen anybody."  
The boys stare at each other for a second and simultaneously stand up and start searching the house for a sign of life. They start growing panicked until Johnny spots the guys out in the backyard around a small bonfire. 

"Pony! Found em!" He hollers. The auburn haired boy comes to him quickly to the kitchen. He follows Johnny's gaze out the window above the sink. The 16 year old hurries outside and begins to converse. 

Sodapop and TwoBit are tending to the small fire as they sit in lawn chairs. 

"Hey guys." Pony greets. His blonde brother looks up to him. 

"Hey there Pony." The blonde greets back, less cheery.

 

Darry comes into his home, kicking off his dirty work boots by the door. He hangs up his keys on the hook and walks into his bedroom. He takes off his tool belt and is about to head to the bathroom until he spots a lonely gang member in his kitchen. He would've shrugged it off but this was Johnny. Even more, a pretty undressed Johnny. He couldn't help himself. He strides over, awkwardly trying to tidy himself up within the 10 steps he takes. He let's out a silent breath and looks the 18 year old over. 

"Hey Johnn-"

"Ah fucken Christ!" He screams, jumping and turning around. He sighs harshly and rubs his head. Darry chokes on a laugh and coughs it out. He walks over, smiling now. 

"Sorry, man."

"Uh-huh." Johnny says in a disbelieving tone. 

"Whatcha doing?" He asks, trying not to look him up and down. Johnny turns to the window again. 

"Watching three idiots figure out fire." He kids. Darry snickers and watching for a moment too. 

"...Why?" He finally asks. Johnny shrugs. 

"Guess they just wanna play with fire."

"Yeah...ya know, weird stuff has been happening lately." 

Johnny looks up to him. 

"Whatcha mean?"

"I mean, everyone's been acting weird, Dallas is acting more sly than usual, TwoBit and Soda have been talking less, Steve seems more emotionally constipated, Pony- well...he's normal- their burning the backyard and you-" Darry scans him again. "You're in your boxers in my kitchen." He chuckles. Johnny steps back, crossing his arms and trying to kind of hide the fact he was pantless. 

"Y-yeah, I got a shower and Pony's washing my clothes." He explains as he stares at the floor. "I didn't mean to be all naked kinda." 

"Nah, man. Its cool. I understand." He nods and stares at the shirt. "Quick question, are you wearing my shirt?" Johnny grows more flustered. 

"Huh?- o-oh I'm sorry. I just- I really needed a new good one and Ponyboy had a couple and said I could have one so...but if you want it back you can-" johnny starts to peel the shirt off. Darry raises his hands. 

"No no no! Johnny it's okay!" He says quickly, making him stop. He chuckles nervously. "Nice naval though." Johnny laughs just as awkwardly. He rubs the back of his neck as the much beefier man mentally kicks himself. The ice blue eyes move to see Johnny's hair. He glides his large fingers through the wet locks. 

"You got all the grease out, huh?" He asks as he moves his hand away and dries it off on his blue jeans. Johnny nods and stammers. 

"Y-yeah. Told ya." He combs his hair with his own fingers to make it like her wanted. "Clean as a whistle. You could even blow me." 

The room grows silent, not even nervous giggles can be heard. Johnny feels like crawling out of his body and disappearing. Maybe if he faked a heart attack he could be forgotten of that previous statement. 

"...umn...what?" Darry asks, blushing just a little. Johnny starts stammering. 

"I-I didn't mean that! I don't know what I was trying to say it just came out and I don't really-" he continues on in this horrible fuss, trying to clear his mess. Darry just starts laughing. The smaller man stops, looking up at him again. 

"Gosh, Johnny its fine. I gotcha." He chuckles out. The larger man grows serious now. 

"Umn...heh...Johnny?" 

"Yeah, Darry?"

"...Do you think I could hug you?" He asks, kind of hesitant. 

"Hug me?" Johnny repeats, not expecting that. Especially after saying he could blow him. 

"Yeah uh- just..ya know I don't ever get any kind of affection and I couldn't ask any of the guys. Even Ponyboy is getting to old and.. Well you're sensitive and more understanding about it. Sorry. You can forget it." He trails off, feeling stupid. He raises his head though, at the sudden opening of Johnny Cade's arms. The darker boy just smiles, inviting him in. Darry smiles back and steps closer, wrapping her arms around him. Darry had to lean down some for it though. Not long after, his back started to ache. He doesn't want to embrace to end though. He moves down lower and gets a good hold of the boy before lifting him up and putting him on the kitchen table. Johnny practically squeaked when his feet left the ground and clung to the stronger male tightly. Soon his fear wore off because Darry had him pulled into his strong arms again. He felt safe against his broad chest. Slowly Darry rubs the younger's back. Up and down real slow with his large calloused hands. Johnny liked his hands. They were a mans hands. His were always kind of dirty from the lot. Not to mention other stuff through his greaser day. Even though he doesn't like them, Johnny pats his much smaller hands between Darry's shoulder blades. Soon they cease the pats and rubs and start growing a tighter hold on one another. Neither truly wanted to split. They found such attraction to one another. Why would either man wish to let go? They do though. They move back slowly and find themselves so dependent to each others touch they have to push themselves back up to a straight position. They don't get far though without pausing to look each other over. Ice blue eyes locked with deep brown almost black. Lower to each others lips. So close yet so far. If they wanted, it would so easy, just to kiss. Both seem to lean in just a tad bit more as their eyelids grow so heavy and start to close. Darry breaks. He turns his head and clears his throat, feeling shaken. What was he doing? Johnny moves back, eyes wider now. Fuck. Darry eases back and runs his hands through his own sweaty hair. He really needed that shower he planned on taking. 

"Sorry. That got intense." Johnny apologizes, however also trying to make light of the situation. Darry gives a grin. 

"Yeah, it okay though. Sorry."

"S'fine." 

"Umn...is it cool if I go get a shower?" Darry asks, not really wanting to leave him. 

"It's your house, man." Johnny replies with a tad smirk, not really wanting him to go. Dar just chuckles and nods and starts walking. 

"Yeah. Kay." 

Johnny looks around himself as his crush walks off. He takes a deep breath, feeling dizzy. Fuck. They almost kissed. Did Darry lean in too?! No...no he couldn't have. God, he was so lightheaded. Hugging him, in his shirt, in a pair of thin boxers. Their hips were so close together. He picked him up and for a moment, he was holding him and rubbing his back. Johnny could've went to sleep like that. Feeling so safe and secure in his arms, having his back rubbed slowly. It was a dream. Truly. 

The back door opens and Johnny looks over to see TwoBit walking in. 

"Hey there, Johnnycakes."

"Hey, TwoBit." 

"Whatcha doing on the table?" He asks, digging around in the fridge for a couple of beers. 

"Nothing. Just sitting around." 

"Yeah?" TwoBit looks up and around him. "You know there's chairs, right?" He asks with a chuckle. Johnny rolls his eyes. 

"Hey, where's Dallas and Steve?" Johnny asks, meaning to ask that a long while ago. 

"Huh?" The jokester asks, taking his head out of the fridge. He stands up straights and closes it. "Oh, they went to Buck's. They should be coming over soon though." 

"Cool." The ebony boy nods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me. Some smut is coming soon. Be patient.


	5. Fantasies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short af chapter about johnny and darry

Ponyboy sits outside with his older brother, now stealing TwoBit's lawn chair. He pulls it up close and tries to look at his blonde siblings face. 

"Soda?"

"...what, Pony?"

Even that made the younger tense. He never talked like that. Maybe when he was trying to sleep late at night but not when he was fully conscious. 

"What's going on with you?" 

Sodapop sighs and looks behind them to their home. The house seemed to explode in more voices and talking. Dallas and Steve must be there now. He looks at his kid brother again and feels that familiar twinge in his heart. 

"I'll tell ya later, Ponyboy. Just wait till then." 

The 16 year old sighs and nods.   
"Okay." He promises and scoots back some. He looks to the fire and he can't help but think of that burning church. He shakes it off. Too many bad memories. 

Steve, Dallas and Two-Bit come out with cigarettes, beers and some burgers. Ponyboy smiles as they gather around the bonfire. 

"Dude! What did y'all do?!" He asks with an excited grin. 

"Dallas won a $50 lottery ticket." Steve blurts as he passes out food. 

Dallas smirks and looks Ponyboy over. Pony blushes and looks away briefly. He nods. "Thanks, Dally." 

"Yeah, thanks, Dally." Soda chimes in and happily eats his feelings. 

Inside the house, Johnny is munching down on a burger and taking in the amazing taste. He finishes it before he even knows it. He sighs and throws away the wrapper. He washes down the taste with milk and washes his hands very briefly so the water pressure doesn't mess with Darry's shower. He sighs as he finishes the glass of milk and settles it into the sink. His brown eyes rise and look to the night sky that's fluttering with bonfire ashes. He sighs and crosses his arms. Its calm here. The house is so still and for a moment he feels at home. Johnny smiles softly and heads to the living room. He takes a seat in Superman's chair and covers up with a blanket that's thrown over the back of the couch. He snuggles up there in a ball and starts dozing off. Everything is so peaceful. He's not sure what lulled him to sleep or what told him to come here but he's so happy here in Darry's chair and home. Of course, he'd put an end to his fantasy after his nap. As for now, he was taking it all in. 

Darry gets dressed after his shower and drying off. He comes out in a nice cloud of steam. He was glad there was still enough hot water for him today. Darry puts his dirty clothes in the hamper and switches out the laundry. He puts Johnny's clean wet clothes in the dryer and folds the towels and wash clothes that were in the dryer previously. He walks past the living room and pauses. He backs up and sees Johnnycakes sleeping in his chair. Darry smirks and walks over. He picks up johnny slowly and gingerly. He carries him bridal style to his bedroom and lays him in on his bed. He tucks him into the clean sheets and thick comforter and let's him sleep. He looks him over. Johnny was so handsome. He truly was gaining hold of Darry's heart. Darry knew better though and he'd put an end to his fantasy. But for now, he was taking it all in. Darry hesitantly presses a sweet kiss to Johnny's forehead before leaving the room to let him have some deep sleep.


	6. "It hurt, didn't it?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dally and Pony camp out under the stars. TwoBit goes home a broken man while Sodapop sleeps alone. Darry and Johnny get deep. Not into each other, but talking.

It was about eleven that night when the idea of camping outside was suggested. TwoBit had been drinking his usual tons of beer, Dally getting unusually hammered. It worried Ponyboy because Dally didn’t drink this much, he would stay pretty clear headed because just as Johnny liked the quiet so he could hear someone sneak up on him, Dally liked being sober enough for a fight. In fact, he had a rule taht he would limit himself to two or three beers. That was the perfect balance of being drunk enough to take punches easier but still being able to land them. However, tonight there was about 5 bottles on the ground by Dally’s feet. He was sitting on the ground, around the fire and swaying a bit as he watched the flames. Pony kept his eyes on Dallas. 

What he had done earlier was just so odd and it threw Pony off. He never thought he would do such a thing, like dress him and try to be so close. Pony didn’t understand it. It wasn’t fair. He could come up and be so vague yet so obvious, mess with his teen’s head and get him dizzy then walk away. But to be fair, Pony was the one who walked away this time. Not that there were many times, but this time. Ponyboy just ran away after Dallas said to wait. All he said was “Wait, Pony” and it set him off. 

Ponyboy sighs now. He feels so mixed up inside. Ever since he turned 16, things have been going all sorts of ways. It freaked him out. Soda wasn’t talking to him, he’s so depressed now. TwoBit has been the exact same way. Dallas has been so touchy feely. Only Darry and Johnny had seemed normal. He sighs again and lays back on the ground. He looks up at the stars and feels so...small. He was so tiny and insignificant here on Earth. A person’s life span truly wasn’t that impressive. No matter what kind of path you set for yourself, no matter the accomplishments you made or medals you won, it didn’t matter in comparison. Those obstacles in life never mattered when you took away the fears. It seemed almost insane to even do anything in life, but what was more insane was the fact that people set up their lives in tiny doll houses, everyone was only playing themselves and others. Every one played games to hide the fears they had inside themselves. While life was pointless, others went to work, got married and had families, as if it ever made a difference. Money had no value, family had no value, the existence of humankind was insane and worthless. Even if they weren’t here, the Earth would be.

Ponyboy shakes his head and glares. He looks over at his big blonde brother who is leaving. He sits up. 

“Where is Soda going?”

“He said he was tired.” TwoBit answers and stands up. He stretches and heads in. Pony casts his brows down. 

“TwoBit? Where are you going?!”

“I’m going home. I..I just need to go home. I just need to.” He says, getting much quieter at the end. Pony looks even more confused. Never did he ever do such a thing. What was happening?! His head is spinning, the world is turning upside down! 

“Pony? Are you okay?” Dallas asks and tries to look at him. The teen was pale and dizzy. He was so angry and scared. Why were they doing this to him?! Pony glares and stands up. He begins to march off, going to confront his big brother once in for all. Dallas stops him though, taking his forearm in a gentle grasp and turns him around. “Hold on, kiddo. Stop right there. What’s that look on your face?” He asks through a burnt out cigarette, that he now spits out and crushes under his heel. 

“It’s not fair!” He hollers, voice raising as the hot tears fill his eyes. They’re not like sad tears, or even the tears he cried when he was hit hard in the gut, but the tears he got when he lost his parents. He was so angry and it was bad for a little while because it hurt so much. He had lost his family and now he was losing them again. It had only been a week, but it was building up. When he lost his parents, it was random and happened so fast. This, was painful. He was losing them slowly and the pain tore his heart apart. 

Dallas sighs and pulls Ponyboy close. He holds him in his arms and rests his chin on top of his head. “It’s okay, Ponyboy. Just calm down.” He says, voice soft. He's lost his jagged edges and cold stare with the beer slowing him down. Pony just takes in the affection he was starved for. He let's his tears flow, dampening Dallas’s shirt. He pulls away after a bit. 

“Let's just...let's camp out here.” Pony says, going to get a blanket from the laundry room to spread out and lay on the ground with. 

He chooses a thick comfy old spread that they used for things like this. He always remembered the blanket, even as a child. On camping trips and bonfires, they would sit on it with their mother, as dad tended to the coals. Ponyboy could remember seeing her lit up face as the flames grew bigger. He could see the very slight crows feet and wrinkle in her face. It wasn't prominent, still dull but starting. She was getting older, but she really wasn't ever an old woman. 

Dallas takes Ponyboy’s shoulder. 

“Pony?”

Pone looks up, his green eyes filled with tears again. He blinks them away and laughs a bit out of embarrassment. “I'm fine. I...crap. I'm sorry. I know I just flat out bawled.” He laughs and uses his shirt for a tissue. He looks away and lays back on the comforter. “I was just thinking about mom right then. I miss her.” He admits as he looked up at the night sky. Dallas lays down with him and follows his gaze to the stars. 

“What about earlier?”

“Everything is changing and it’s not fair, Dallas.” He says real stern. “I'm so angry because of change. Soda and TwoBit have been so weird and they won't tell me why, and you-!” He looks over. He never would have raised his voice to the cold Dallas Winston before, but he was so fed up with confusion. “You're getting so close, always touching me! Why?!”

Dallas keeps a much colder look now, as if snapping out of his drunken state. It makes Pony’s breath hitch and eyes widen in fear. He had done it now. 

Dallas sits up a bit and looks down at him. “...Let me tell you something Ponyboy Curtis.” He clears his throat and keeps a grim look. “When I was a kid, my dad left me to rot after abusing me and my mom. My mom died when I was a teenager, and that fucked me up. I started making more mistakes. I started really fucking up and was in the streets. I was always partying and fucking chicks I didn't even know. I didn't care anymore after a while. Pony, I would whoop someone's ass, and no one could do a damn thing about it because I was the Dallas Winston, the guy with ice in his soul and no mother to love him. And even when I moved here, my image and reputation followed me. I've always had shit for luck, Pony. I've let myself believe nonsense and bullshit for too long. I've made mistakes. I know...I know I’m scary and I know I'm horrible. I'm an awful guy. But I’m human Ponyboy. ...I told you something when you were 14, I told you to not be human so you couldn't get hurt. That wasn't right, Pony. I was wrong. I'm sorry for that.”

Ponyboy eyes are huge. Did he hear that right? Dallas Winston just apologized after he yelled at him?!

“You gotta stay in touch with your emotions and feelings, Pone. If not you get to be like me. You get shit for luck and people hate you. No one can love you and the people you do love, never love you back because they’re so afraid of the monster you are.” He says and lights a cigarette. He draws it in deep, needing to calm down. 

Pony stares at the cold man with soft green eyes, wondering where this all came from. Did he do something? He just felt so much confusion, and some pity, but more like guilt. Perhaps he shouldn’t have left this morning but it scared him when he told him to wait. What was he going to say? Why did it feel like he was opening up a door that he shouldn’t? He sighs and keeps his head laying against the blanket as he watches him smoke. He starts thinking about the cigarette, how badly he wanted one. He feels his cheeks burn a bit as he thinks back to this morning, when Dallas leaned down and blew the smoke into him. Their lips were so close and touching. He never kissed someone, especially not a boy, even more, certainly not Dallas Winston. Why did he get so close? 

“Can I get a drag off that?” He asks softly. Dally looks up with his ice blue eyes and nods, a small smile as the mood lightens up again. 

“Sure, Pone.” He inhales deep and hands it over between his fore and middle finger. 

Pony accepts it. He breathes in deep and takes in the nicotine as he closes his eyes. It comes in deep, harsh in his throat, but it feels so good to his senses. He lets it out in a long ribbon of white smoke. After the cancer stick takes the edge off, his exhaustion is starting to catch up with him. He yawns and hands Dallas his cigarette back and curls up on his side. Dallas puts the cig out, pressing it into the cold dirt. He lays down with him on the comforter and slowly runs his fingers through his auburn hair. It lulls Pony to sleep, that and the sound of Dallas Winston's heartbeat. 

 

Sodapop lays in bed, looking all over the room. He couldn't stop thinking about TwoBit. He couldn't silence his thoughts. He felt like crying. He couldn't understand this, why did he do it? Why did he like it? It felt so good that night. He wants it again, now. 

The blonde holds himself and feels like vomiting. How could he? If anyone found out, he’d die. His brothers would hate him. His friends would stay away. He'd be pushed to the cold world outside. He'd die out there. Why did it have to be him? Why did it have to Soda? Why did he have to want a man?

He calms down, breathing against the pillow. Where was his Ponyboy? He was sleeping soundly under the stars with their friends. He wanted to tell him everything. He always told Ponyboy everything, without him ever having to ask. He knew Pony was catching on but what could he do? He could never tell him. He never wanted to keep secrets from his kid brother but he’d have to this time. 

 

Darry comes into his bedroom soon enough, dinner eaten, kid brothers checked on and teeth brushed thoroughly. He closes and locks his door before slipping under the covers and sheets with Johnny. 

Those chocolate brown eyes open, confused and scared at first in the dark. He sits up fast, looking around, panicking. Darry sits up too and takes his shoulders. “Johnny! Johnny, it’s okay. You’re safe.”

“Darry? Where am I?” He asks as he looks around the room and holds his head. 

“My bedroom.” He says, voice getting softer. “You were sleeping and I wanted to make sure they didn't wake you up. So..I let you sleep in my bed.” He explains, realizing how horrible of an idea that might have been. 

“Y-..you what?” He asks and starts getting flustered. “I'm in your bed?!” He shoots up out of it. “Dude!”

“What's wrong?” He asks, his insides shaking. He fucked up. He fucked up. He fucked up so bad. Johnny would never talk to him again. 

“Dude!” Johnny repeats and grows embarrassed. He speaks in a lower voice. “You have sex here!” He growls, almost whispering it. Darry blinks and begins laughing. He laughs till he's hunched over, stomach hurting and he's about to cry. Johnny stares, never seeing him laugh like this, starts blushing more. “What are you laughing at?”

“Man! Okay, that was probably the most adorable thing I have ever witnessed - but mainly, Johnny, I, nor anyone else, has ever had sex in this bed.”

Johnny looks at the bed and furrows his brows. 

“...where’d you get the money for a new mattress?”

“I didn't, Johnny. I've had sex once in my life.”

“...you- what?” Johnny looks up at him, very confused. Darry sighs and pats the bed. 

“C’mere. I'll explain.” Johnny does so, hesitantly, but grows relaxed with time. He couldn't help be feel safe and relaxed in Darry’s presence. He looks up to the muscular man as he gets the sheets and blankets around him again. He was cold in here with Darry’s electric fan pointed at him. 

“Johnny, I’ve had sex once in my life. I was at a party when I was 16. I was gonna go off to college, get my education, make money, live my life to the fullest. Ponyboy and Sodapop were still only my kid brothers, mom and dad were still around. So I was free, somewhat, I could go out and have fun. And I just ended up in my best friends bedroom, with a girl. She was so beautiful and we just...we did it. But...well, I just never found it very ...enjoyable.” He says, trying to find the words. “And with my parents dying and becoming the parents of two boys, I really didn't have time to find someone, settle down or anything. I never dated anyone. I never had sex since then.” He looks up at Johnny, who is now completely attentive. 

“You….really haven't done it since?”

“Nope. Not once. I haven't even kissed someone.” He admits. 

“...Darry, ..you could have a girlfriend if you wanted.” 

“I don't want one.” He answers, confident and almost in a stern manner. Johnny furrows his brows. 

“Why not?”

“Too much pressure.”

“Too much pressure?- don't you wanna get married and have kids of your own?” 

“Nope. I already raised two kids. That's enough. And marriage sounds like hell. Not..to be mean but..”

“..why wasn't it enjoyable?”

“I just...didn't like it.” He says, with a shake of his head. Johnny swallows hard. God, does he wanna ask. He knows, he's on the very verge of blurting it. But… He's staring into those ice blue eyes and he knows, Darry would rip him limb from limb. “Johnny?” Johnny snaps out of his trance. 

“Huh?”

“Are you okay, man?”

“Y-yeah...yeah. I'm fine.”

“Why do you have that look on your face?”

“What look?”

“Like you're scared.”

“Cause...I wanna ask you something so badly.”

“Well,” Darry lays back some. “You can ask me anything, Johnny.”

“No...Darry, I can't. I can't even utter the word.” He says, almost whispering. 

“What? Why not?” He asks with soft eyes. Darry only had such soft eyes for Johnny. Even Sodapop and Ponyboy weren't reserved for this look, the look of undying love and sweet vicious lust.

“Cause...you'd hate me. You'd kill me, hate my guts and never want to see me again.” He feels like crying. Darry sits up fully, getting serious. 

“Johnny, I could never feel that way about you. There's perhaps one possible situation that would make me feel that horrible angry towards you and that would be you killing my kid brothers.” He says and takes his shoulder, trying to assure him. Johnny just shakes his head. 

“You'd murder me.”

“Johnny, please? Just ask me.” He begs, really wanting to know the question. The darker male keeps shaking his head and staring in his eyes. 

“You'll never wanna see me again.” 

“Is it that bad that you can't even trust me?” He asks, feeling horrible for making him think that. Did he really come off that aggressive?

“I do trust you, I just-”

“Then ask me, Johnny.” He says real stern, cutting him off. 

“....fine….okay.” Johnny gives in, feeling scared. Darry feels accomplished. “Are you…” Johnny gulps, trying to word it right. “Do you...are…” He looks up at him and blinks a bit before he words finally spill out from his throat. “Gay?” 

Darry breathes in deep. Something inside of him feels so much better when he hears that word. He looks down and nods. 

“Mhm…” He hums. Johnny feels like he’s dreaming. 

“What?”

“I’m gay, Johnny.” He says, picking his head up. He stares at him with those soft eyes. They’re so use to being cold and uninviting. They’ve forgotten the feeling of human contact and want. So has Johnny, only being struck by fists instead of Cupid’s arrow. “I use to be more into girls, but I still stared at guys while growing up. Then after that..I just knew. I haven't anyone since either. Obviously.” He says, rubbing his brow free of nervous sweat. He looks away, reflecting back on that night. Johnny can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. Darry felt the same way as he did that night at Buck’s. He wasn't lying. He wouldn't make it up anyway, but … He’s really not kidding. 

“It hurt, didn't it?” Johnny asks, eyes stuck on the muscular man. 

“What?” Darry asks, furrowing his brows together. 

“Sleeping with her? It hurt, didn't it?” He repeats, feeling a twinge in his heart at his own memory. Darry feels like he's being suffocated softly. Like a gentle push on his throat, he’s breathing more rugged.

“Johnny, ..how would you even know what that feels like?” He asks, eyes locked and searching his friends deep brown ones. 

“Darry,” Johnny scoffs. “I went through the same thing. You really think I like girls? I can't bear to even look at them the way other guys do. I know it hurts to be touched by someone you just aren't attracted to.” He breaks eye contact as he talks, staring down at the non matching bed spread and thinking of that girl who took his virginity. Darry, however, feels like his heart is going to burst. 

“Johnny, I need to tell you something.” He says as he scoots closer to him on the bed. His large hands reach over to him and cups the tanner boys chin. Johnny almost gasps at the feeling. Its intense. Johnny's eyes have widened and stared deep in Darry ice blue ones. They call his name. They're so comforting; They never leave Johnny frozen. Darry’s other hand presses against the mattress, slides under his pillow, and props him up. Johnny looks back and forth in his eyes, searching for that look. He finds it as Superman repeats his name. 

“Yeah, Dar?” He asks, so lost in him. It's such a profound feeling. Darry chuckles under his breath. He leans in a bit, staring his young friend down in the dark.  
“I really, very, truly, absolutely, like you.” He pauses as he tries to find the words. “I've never been with a guy before, really anyone before but I want to be with you. I would love to be your boyfriend.” He says in a very hushed voice. Johnny feels like he is having an out of body experience. He never expected that to come out of his mouth. Johnny nods. 

“I really want that too, Darry.” He whispers back. He slips his hand over Dar’s. Darry smiles wide. 

“Really?” He asks in disbelief. Johnny nods again and smiles. It disappears, however, and exchanges with a surprised look as Darry leans in. He presses their lips together, for a short while but it's so amazing still.


	7. Giovanni's Room By James Baldwin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter without Darry- Johnny and Dallas go to a diner an hour away with Dallas's lottery money. Sodapop and Twobit do some dirty stuff in the DX, Ponyboy has a quiet Sunday to himself.

The sunrise was beautiful; The clouds were in warm colors of pinks and oranges and they blended off above the sky, mixing with the darker purples and blues. Everything above the trees looked like an upside down garden with roses, tulips, fruit, lush green grass. It was absolutely beautiful, especially when the sun raised itself over the trees and building in Tulsa, and the light scattered in every direction, touching everything. The clouds began to slip across the open air on their own accord, taking the night with them to the other side of town. Birds began to chip, just a bit as a greedy squirrel ate from their hanging porch feeders. Alarm clocks began to buzz, coffee was started, people were rising.   
Ponyboy’s eyes opened, his entire chin covered in dried spit as he snored with an open mouth all night long. He began to move his tongue inside his dry mouth, tasting the pastiness. It was gross and he yawned, but not before a grasshopper leapt its way into his dry mouth. Ponyboy shot up from laying on his back, spitting and letting out a surprised holler. His eyes were huge and he just kind of laid back down into the blanket on the ground. He groaned again, finding the blanket damp with morning dew. He grimaced and looked around, trying to push himself up. For a bit, he completely forgot where he was, but then all last night came back to him. He looked around again. Dallas was missing. The auburn teen huffed with big pouty cheeks and tired eyes. His hair was all rustled up. He pushed himself up fully this time, all the way to his feet. He stumbled a bit and caught himself, scanning the yard again for the absent greaser. He backed up and bent over, rolling up the blanket to be washed.   
Pony stepped inside the laundry room through the backdoor, and stuffed the blanket in a not-so-empty clothes basket. The teenager raised his head up some, seeing somebody to the side of him. Sodapop was standing still, a empty breakfast bowl in his hand, his hair wet from a shower. He was staring at Pony with his big brown eyes. Even though Soda was pretty badly depressed at the moment, he couldn’t help breaking into a smile and having a laughing fit at the sight of his kid brother. Ponyboy furrowed his brows, keeping his squinting look. He was so drowsy.   
“What?” Pony asked, “What are you laughing at me for?” He repeated when he was given no answer. Sodapop raised a hand halfway, forefinger extended out, pointing at something, but just dropped his arm to his knee for support as he doubled over in laughter. Pony couldn’t help chuckle under his breath and smile just a bit. “What is it? Soda?” He whined.   
Sodapop shook his head and put his dirty dishes in the sink. He left the kitchen wiping tears from his cheeks. Ponyboy sighed hard, grabbing his older brother’s forearm.   
“Hey. C’mon, what the heck are you laughing for?” Pony asked, curious as ever. Finally Sodapop closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He opened them again and looked at the teen.   
“You uh… dream of something good last night?” Sodapop asked, trying to choke back the laughter. Pony stopped smiling and gave a confused look. A quick feeling of self dread came through him as he ducked his head down, checking his jeans. His stomach dropped, the fear was there, it happened. It wasn’t morning dew, it wasn’t pee, it was cum and it was coating the zipper and opening of his pants. His face burned deep and he couldn’t look up at his brother anymore. Soda patted his head.   
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It happens. You good?” Soda’s hand dropped as Pony moved away from him and hurried to his room. Soda sighed, not smiling anymore. Being able to laugh felt great, but now Ponyboy was upset with him and this only fueled his depression. 

Pony closed the door to his bedroom. He glared at his lower half and started taking off his jeans. His brother’s voice kept replaying in his head, his laughter, his head shaking. Dream of something good last night? Pony scoffed, so infuriated and embarrassed. He flung every article of clothing to a pile in front of his dresser and grabbed some clean ones form the drawers. He waited till he heard the truck pull up and the front door shut. Steve was here to take Soda to work. Darry must’ve already left, thought Pony.   
Pone walked to the shower, kind of fast in case someone else was there and he got embarrassed more. But no one was there, he was all alone.   
After his shower, Ponyboy got dressed in a clean pair of blue jeans, his tattered black converses, a sleeveless shirt, and an old gray Hanes jacket. He combed his hair then grabbed his things for school. He looked at his bag and stopped, just wondering. Wondering about everything, where did Dallas go? Why didn’t Darry at least take me to school? Why was Soda so depressed, when not laughing at him? Why was Twobit sad? What did he fucking dream about last night? Pony sighed, closing his eyes. He tried hard to remember his dream, if he even had one. He could only remember flashes of strange shapes and movements, nothing more. He sighed again, coming up empty handed. Before he left, Pony collected his dirty clothes and stuffed them and the blanket in the washer. His stomach growled as he hurried out the door, reminding him that he never ate anything that morning. He rolled his eyes and rushed down the steps, deciding he would just grab something on the way. 

“Can I turn this?” Johnny asked, reaching over to turn the radio dial. Dallas glanced at Johnny, taken out of his thoughts. He played it off like he was just into it.   
“Nah, man. I like this song.” Dallas replied, sitting up a bit in the driver seat.   
“Day Tripper? You like Day Tripper?” Johnny asked, squinting at the man driving. Dallas paused and sighed, turning it.  
“Just turn the damn thing, then.” He muttered, putting it on Like A Rolling Stone.   
Earlier that morning, before dawn, Dallas had gotten up from the blanket outside and crept through the house to leave. He was trying to find some smokes on the coffee table when Johnny sat up on the couch and whispered.   
“Dallas?”   
“Shut the fuck-!” Dallas hissed, that somehow being his involuntary cry when scared. His jaw tightened. “What the hell’re you doing, kid?” Johnny rubbed his eyes.  
“Sleeping on a couch that ain’t mine. What are you doing?”   
“Taking smokes that ain’t mine.”   
“Ah.” Johnny nodded. Dallas paused for a few seconds.  
“Wanna go get some breakfast and stuff?” The blonde man asked.  
“Sure.” The ebony man answered, pushing off the blanket. “Let me get my clothes from the dryer. 

Johnny was now in his jeans, sneakers, denim jacket, and still Darry’s shirt. He never wanted to take it off. It was 8:05 in the morning and he and Dallas were still in the car. Dallas talked Johnny into getting some breakfast at a diner called Walker’s Din-n-Eats, which was almost an hour away. They had been driving for about half an hour now. Johnny turned off the radio, getting sick of it.   
“So, hey, how come this diner?” He asked, while brushing any wrinkles out of his new favorite shirt.  
“Man, it’s the best damn breakfast place, they got pancakes the size of the plate, with lots of sausage, eggs, hashbrowns, the whole damn thing!” Dallas glanced over at Johnny again, his smile dropping some. “What’s with the shirt?”  
“Oh, uh, Darry let me have it, actually.” Johnny answered, some pauses in between his words.   
“Yeah? How come?” Johnny shrugged.  
“Just cause, I guess.” He said, not really lying, Darry was okay with it.   
“How come you keep messing with it?”   
“Sorry.” Johnny immediately stopped. “It’s just really soft.” Dallas shook his head at his answer.  
“That’s really weird, man.” Dallas said, getting onto a highway now. 

At work, Sodapop stuck to fixing some man’s car. He couldn’t do much since it was a new model, and truly, Soda didn’t have the parts to fix it, but he wouldn’t come out from under it. Under the car, he could pretend to work hard and not have to catch any looks from Steve. If he stopped, that meant he had to go back inside the DX and do inventory, and be right in Steve’s line of vision, where the man would pick at him and his depression, and ask God’s knows how many questions.   
Soon though, the man came for his car, and Sodapop couldn’t stall him any longer. The man just humphed, belittled the blonde mechanic, and left with his still broken, rich man car. The light moved across the body of the car, it’s shining coat sent a white light into Soda’s eyes. He cursed and turned away, holding his eyes for a minute. Seems that everything was out to get him.   
Sodapop walked into the DX a bit reluctantly. The bell above the door rang as he opened it. Steve looked up to him as he was ringing up a lady’s snacks. Soda tried not to make eye contact, with his best friend, or the woman.   
He came to the checkout desk as the lady walked passed him, and he heaved himself backwards onto the counter to sit. The bell rang again as the woman exited. The boys were alone in the small gas station. Soda had his back to Steve. His muscles were slowly tensing up as the awkward silence went on. The only sound was the buzzing of the Coca Cola cooler.   
“... What’s wrong with you?” Steve asked, eyes on his this entire time. Soda closed his eyes for a second, rolling them so hard as he mouthed “Goddammit.”  
“Nothing, man.” Soda said, trying to sound convincing. The bell rang and both men turned their heads. Soda’s face dropped as Twobit came into view. Steve chipped up.  
“Hey, man.” All of a sudden an idea was in his head. “Hey, men, Twobit, come tell Soda that he should come hang out with us tonight.” Steve said, moving around the seated blonde. Twobit looked to Steve then Soda again. He walked, getting the beer he came in for.   
“Sodapop can do whatever he wants to do.” He said, normally, but for some reason, the sentence makes Soda stiffen.   
“Man, what? What the hell is up with you guys?” Steve asks, so confused. “Where’s my guys? My drinking buddies? What the hell is up?” Steve steps back behind the counter as Twobit walks over with a case of beer. “See! You’re buying right now! It’s 8:30 in the morning!” Steve exclaims, ringing up the booze anyway. Twobit stands in front of Soda and Steve. Sodapop tries to pull his knees in to give his gang member some room while he pays for his beer.  
“Man, we can drink, just not at Bucks, it’s the same people, let’s go somewhere else, do something else.” Twobit suggests, getting his wallet out. “Oh, I need you to go look at my car too. I think the motor is fucked up on it.”   
“I’ll go!” Sodapop cries, shooting up off the counter. Twobit stops his with his hand out.  
“Actually, Soda, I’d rather Steve take a look at it.” Both DX employees look to one another, then Twobit.   
“Why?” Soda asks.  
“Cause...Well..Soda, Steve is just smarter about these things.” Twobit said, looking to Steve. Steve, with his ego now ten times bigger, grabs the keys from his friend and hurries out the ringing doors to check out the car. Sodapop is chewing on his lip. He pulls himself back up on the silver counter to sit. He can’t look at Twobit.   
“Are you fucking serious?” Finally Soda lays his chocolate eyes on Twobit’s gray ones. Twobit smirks, giving that charismatic look.   
“Oh, fuck no.” He answers, throwing Soda off. The older greaser walks over, puts his hands on Soda’s knees and pushes his legs apart. He slides him closer and keeps their eyes connected. Soda’s brown eyes are huge. He’s shocked and immovable from his seat on the counter. He watches Twobit’s every move. His heart is pounding, his head light, his thighs hot. The blonde just might faint.  
Twobit leans in, almost meeting his lips, but he makes Sodapop come halfway, wanting him to want it too. Soda closes his eyes, giving in to what he has been feeling for over a week. His hand reach up around Twobit’s shirt and they clench, gripping it as he passionately kisses him. He didn’t even kiss Sandy like this. This is something new, bad, fucking awful, fucking great. His head is spinning, but he’s trusting Twobit. He breaks away, eyes kind of tear filled, there’s so much emotion in him. He shakes his head.   
“Twobit, I can’t” He whispers out, almost croaking. Twobit sighs, nodding, backing up.   
“Okay, I’m sorry, I just...wanted to see if you really don’t like me or if you were just-” Soda shakes his head, looking confused.   
“What? No.” He grabs Twobit’s shirt and pulls him back between his legs. “I meant …” He pauses, laughing a bit. “I don’t think I can control myself if you keep on.” He says with a weak smile, but a meaningful one. Twobit’s eyes light back up again.   
“Ar-Are you okay with this?” He stutters out, surprised he’s allowing this at all. Soda nods.   
The two men kiss again for a short time, then Twobit breaks it. He checks to make sure that Steve is still by the car. Soda watches as his own pants become undone by his friend’s hands. His member is hard, up on it’s own. Twobit smiles and kisses wherever he can before moving the man’s white briefs down. He grasps Soda’s erection, giving licks to the swollen head. Soda moans, almost whimpering as he turns his head to keep watch. He keeps his eyes on Steve as he works on the car. Twobit strokes the employee, making him firmer. He downs him, taking as much as he can of Soda in his mouth. Sodapop’s right hand goes straight to Twobit’s brown hair. He’s watching him now, watching him take his cock and pulling his greased hair. Twobit moves just as Soda wants. Soda looks back up, remembering he has to watch. It’s so hard to keep his eyes off his friend as he blows him, but the danger of getting caught is 100% now. Soda moans and grunts as he spreads his legs and makes Twobit go faster. The brunette complies best he can and strokes his base.   
“Fu-fuck, I’m gonna cum.” Soda moans, rolling his hips some. He tenses up, watching Steve walk around the car. Twobit reaches up, pushing his hand to his nipple and begins to pinch and pull. Soda bucks his hips and looks down at him, getting loud as he reaches his limit. He gasps loudly, crying out.   
“Ah, fuck!” He hollers. He pushes Twobit back and gets his pants up. Twobit swallows his mouthful and scrambles to stand up before Steve comes in.   
“The hell is going on?” He asks, looking at both men, one out of breath and blushing, the other smiling.   
“Nothing. Just got Soda to cry uncle.” Twobit lies. Soda looks away, trying to control his breathing. “Put him in a headlock and he cried like a bitch.” Soda sends Twobit a glare from Hell. Steve sighs and wipes his hands.   
“Alright well, there’s nothing wrong with the motor. And that’s a dollar.” Steve says, going back to the register behind the counter. Twobit pays and gets his pack. He grins at Soda. Soda stares, feeling something painful in his heart. He feels tears gathering up in his eyes. After the transaction, Twobit leaves, ringing that bell. Sodapop looks forward, gulping down the lump in his throat. He furrows his brows, thinking. All he wanted to do was cling to Twobit. He wanted to scream. He wanted to let it out, let every feeling go into the open.   
“So, Soda, cried uncle huh?” Steve asks, checking the inventory behind the counter. Sodapop looks over his shoulder, watching the car pull out from the parking lot. His voice was quieter than ever. He just wanted to run out and get in that car with him. He wanted to drive so far away from here, from everyone he knew, from every awful truth, the truth that he loved Twobit more than ever. He wanted to be his. 

Ponyboy walked all the way to the Dingo with his book bag before he realized it was sunday. He decided to say fuck it, eat anyway. The parking lot was full of cars, people were inside and outside. He squeezed passed a soc girl on the way in. He got a whiff of her perfume. She smelled like clarity and hope. He got to the front of the line, walking across the black and white checkered floor. He asked for a cheeseburger, order of fries, and a large soda. After waiting, he took his tray to a booth and ate alone with his book bag in the seat.   
Pony opened his book bag and took out his paper back book, The Agony and The Ecstasy, by Irving Stone. He found his place and began eating. The book was about Michelangelo and the creation of David. It made Ponyboy think, what if he created something? Something more than just a kid, or whatever, but something artistic. He wanted to achieve something. As he started on his fries, he put his book away and counted the rest of the loose change in his pocket. He had a dollar and twenty cents. He put his change back in his pocket and nodded. He planned his day out in his head as he dipped his fries in ketchup and sipped his Coca Cola. He could go get another book, or a pack of smokes, maybe some more aspirin, his headaches were starting to come back.   
After Pony guzzled down the soda, he gathered his tray and trash and put his bag on his back. He tossed is garbage away and laid the plastic tray on the space above. He walked out, going down the road to the pharmacy. Ponyboy liked the pharmacy because it had everything he could want. There was a whole section of smokes, his aspirin, some art supplies on one while, some games and toys on another, for whenever he had one of these days and was all alone. They also had magazines of famous people and postcards from places Ponyboy had never seen. Pony’s favorite part was the entire rack of paperback books for ten cents each. He could buy so many great books.   
As Ponyboy entered, a bell rang above the door, which made him think of the DX, which made him think of his brother, then how he laughed at him this morning, then what he said. Dream of something good last night? Pony blushed, but only a small bit. He walked around the store, looking at all the things that intrigued him as he tried to remember his dream. He kept thinking, trying to see something in his mind, but nothing came. He sighed and thought of Soda again. His depression was making him so different. He really could use some cheering up. Ponyboy looked down at the postcards. There were pretty pictures of mountain landscapes, city life, even some wild animals. Pony put the cards down and looked through some magazines, then the books. He decided upon a few books for himself but one that he picked randomly in the “Newly Published” area. Afterwards, Ponyboy goes down the second isles, looking at some art supplies. He gets a new sketchbook and some pens. He takes his four books, sketchbook, and package of pens to the counter and pays for them. He has a ten cents left. Pony smiles at the man behind the counter.   
“Do you know what time it is?” He asks. The pharmacist looks at his watch and hums.   
“Quater til ten.” He answers with a smile. Pony thanks him and heads out, thinking about how the old man reminded him of a grandfather. 

Dallas sits with Johnny in a booth of the diner. They’re eaten their breakfast, and damn if Dallas wasn’t telling the truth about the place. Johnny couldn’t remember ever eating so much for breakfast. Both men sat in the seats, slouched with full stomachs.   
“So, man,” Johnny shook his head and pushed himself up to sit straighter. “How come we came all the way out here just for breakfast?”  
“Just for breakfast?” Dallas asked, as if he hadn’t already proved the diner worthy. “Man did you not just your weight in those damn pancakes?” Johnny shook his head and grinned.  
“No man. Really. Two hours worth of driving for it. Be serious with me.”  
“I am being serious with you, this breakfast is worth every minute of driving.” He said, putting his foot up in the booth.   
“Sir, please don’t put your feet up on the seat.” A waitress asked as she walked to give another customer breakfast.   
“Oh, okay.” Dallas said politely, taking his foot down. She walked away, saying thank you. “Course” He replied, putting his foot right back up on the seat as she left. Johnny just shook his head at his friend.   
“Man.”  
“Man.” Dallas mimicked.   
“Why are we here?” He asks again, trying to get some kind of answer. Dallas beat his fist on the table, laughing.   
“Dammit, Johnny, did you not see those fucking pancakes?!” People in other booths turn their heads. The waitress hurries back over with her nasally little voice.  
“Sir, I’m going to need to refrain from cursing in this establishment.” She says, nodding. Dallas nods with her, sounding so innocent and apologetic, then flips her the bird when she leaves. Johnny just shook his head and smiled.   
Soon the men packed themselves back into the car, with bellies full, but minds fuller. Johnny couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Dallas could possibly just want a really great breakfast, maybe if he had been craving it for a long time, then finally got the money. He could see that.  
“Did we come because you won that fifty dollars, and now you got to finally come here?” Johnny asked. Dallas took a deep breath. He didn’t explode. He just looked at the steering wheel as he spoke, with his wrists laid over the top.   
“My dad took me here once when I was a kid. I wasn’t even sure if it were still here. I had some family out in Texas, on my dad’s side, and we visited them once. It ended in a fight of course, some redneck trailer trash, ya know, but I came with him, and we stopped her, and he let me eat half of his breakfast. He wasn’t even mad about it. He was great. He was the best dad in that diner.” Dallas looked over at Johnny. “I just really wanted to see it one more time and now I have forty bucks, so I took it.” Dallas took his wallet out and counted his cash. “Well, thirty-eight.” Johnny listened, feeling that parental detachment. He just nodded and patted the blonde.   
“Well, where do you want to go now?” Dallas shrugged at the idea of going anywhere else.   
“I don’t know. I just kind of ditched the kid this morning. I didn’t even mean to, I just wanted to smoke and walk around for a second.”   
“Well, do you wanna go back? We can see about doing something with him.” Johnny suggests, not seeing any correlation between Dallas and Ponyboy.   
“I dunno. I don’t think the kid likes me too much.” Dallas says, lighting up a smoke as he sits in the parked car. Now that sentence threw the boy off.  
“What?”   
“Huh?”  
“Why would you care what a sixteen year old thinks of you?” Johnny asks, looking at him confused. Dallas looks at him dead serious with his blazing blue eyes.  
“The kid makes me feel better.”   
Johnny paused, moved around in his seat, and paused again.   
“You...do you...like him?” He asked, squinting.  
“Damn kid, you ask me if I’m queer for him? Grown some real balls. I’ll give ya that.” Dallas said, tipping his cigarette to him. He took a long drag and blew it out. “Yeah..I think I do. He’s something I can never be. He’s someone I can never have.”   
“You’re treading on some thin ice, man.” Johnny says, thinking of how Sodapop and Darry would react to see a nineteen year old liking their kid brother. “However,” JOhnny nodded his head in thought. “Pony’ll probably just burst into flames the second he ever suspects killer Dallas Winston fancies him.” Dallas looks over, blowing smoke.  
“I ain’t never killed nobody.”   
“You kill em with your looks.” Johnny says, winking playfully, then bursts out laughing with Dallas, up until memories of how Johnny actually murdered someone comes up, and he almost has a meltdown. But it’s okay cause Dallas helps him calm back down.   
“Let’s go get the kid, okay?” Dallas suggests. Johnny nods.  
“Okay.” He says, breathing deep and relaxing himself.

Ponyboy spends a few hours at the house, reading and drawing, then gets bored and decides to walk to the DX. It’s afternoon now, and he’s already had lunch at the house. A car pulls up to him, scaring him at first but it’s only Twobit.   
“Hey, Ponyboy!” Twobit hollers out the window. Pony breaks into a smile.  
“Twobit!”   
Ponyboy climbs into the front seat of the car, with a book in hand.   
“Whatcha doing here?”  
“I was actually coming to see what you were up to. I get kind of scared when you’re out by yourself.” He says, getting on a sensitive topic. All the guys were like that now.   
“It’s been two years, Twobit.” Pony says, giving a hopeful smile.  
“I know, but still. Sometimes I think about you or Johnny or Soda on your own and I get so worried I can’t stop moving till I find you.”  
“Why Soda?” Ponyboy asks, furrowing his brows. “He never did anything.” Twobit looks a little taken off guard.   
“Oh, just, cause, ya know. You guys are the sweet ones.” He says, having to say something. Pony looks like he has been struck.  
“...What did you say?” Twobit looks like he’s fucked up until Ponyboy starts to laugh his ass off. “Twobit, I fucking went into hiding with Johnny for a week in a church, I jumped a train to run away from the cops, I tore kids out of a burning building, Johnny murdered a guy and caught on fire, and you’re afraid we might get hurt because we’re the sweet ones? What the hell are the sweet ones? We literally murdered a guy! Where the hell does Soda come in as...okay yeah, he is pretty sweet, but you have nothing to talk about with me and Johnny.” Twobit gives a relieved grin.   
“So you’re not sweet, Pony?”  
“Hell no!” Pony hollers, laughing. “I’m a sour mother fucker!” The boys die laughing in the front seat. The eventually calm down and after Pony explains how he wanted to see his brother, Twobit takes him to the DX.

The bell above the door rings and Soda’s smile explodes when he sees Ponyboy.  
“Hey!” He says, shooting up. He stops. “Oh shoot, are you still upset with me?” He asks. “I didn’t mean to taunt you like that this morning.” He says, his brown eyes looking like puppy dog’s. Ponyboy just smiles and shakes his head.   
“I’m not mad. I bought you a book today!” He says, thrusting the paperback to Soda’s face. Soda backs up a little, takes it and reads the cover.   
“You bought me a book? Giovanni’s Room?” Pony nods.   
“It was on the newly published section.” Soda smiles and hugs his kid brother tight.  
“Thank you so much, but you know, you might have to read it to me, I’m kind of dumb.” He says, scanning the book over.   
“You’re not dumb, Soda.” Pone says, looking at it with him. “I just kind of picked it up, if you don’t like it, I’m sure I can find another.”  
“I’m sure I’ll love it.” 

“Ahem.” Twobit chimes in, making Soda and Pony look up. Sodapop blushes to see his gang member in front of him for the second time today, especially after since how intense the last visit was.   
“Hello.” Soda greets, giving a look. “You’re back.” Soda looks over to his little brother. “Ponyboy, have you eaten lunch?” The teen nods, still smiling with those bright green eyes. “Oh. Well why don’t you find a snack or a drink for later. I get off work soon, we can go to the park or something.”   
“Really?” Pony asks, so genuinely in awe the his big brother would spend time with him. It makes Soda feel a slight twinge in his heart.   
“Yes. Go find something.” Soda says, making him move along. Pony does so, deciding upon Cracker Jack or something more cakey. He kind of wanted something sweet.   
“What’re you doing here again?” Soda asks, whispering to Twobit.  
“I drove him.” He answers simply. Soda pauses.   
“You only...do that with me, right?” The blonde asks, having a split second thought of his kid brother and his secret lover doing shameful things. Needless to say it makes his blood pressure go up and his chest weak.  
“What? No, Soda! He’s sixteen!” Twobit whispered back, voice almost cracking. “Man, what the hell? He’s one of my best friends your little brother, why would I ever think of doing that?”  
“I just wanted to be sure, sorry, it’s just kind of odd to see you with my kid brother immediately after that.”. Soda says. Ponyboy comes back over.  
“Sound carries.” He says, his bright eyes still smiling. Both men stop whispering and look at him.  
“What?” Soda asks.  
“Sound carries. What would I do with Twobit?” He asks, looking at them both.  
“Nothing!” They both snap. Soda begins to rub his head. Pony squints.   
“You were already here?” Pone asks Twobit.  
“No. Yes. Fuck, I was, yeah. I bought some beer and had Steve look at my car.” Twobit says and clears his throat.   
“So what, you guys drank?” He asks, still confused. “Oh.” It dawns on him. “Did you guys just drink a lot?”   
“Yes.” Soda answers fast, then slower. Then with as much passion, he admits to a crime he didn’t commit. “I drank heavily this morning with Twobit and I was really afraid maybe he was drinking with you too.” Pony looks a lot sadder now.  
“Is...that why you’re happy now?” He lowers his snack of Cracker Jack, almost dropping it.   
“Huh?” Soda asks, now confused. Ponyboy stares in his brown eyes. He sighs and puts his snack on the counter.   
“I don’t want this anymore.” He says and walks out of the DX, ringing the bell. Sodapop, lost, hurries after his kid brother, who is actually much faster when he puts effort into it. 

Twobit sighs and walks out to the garage, looking at a greasy Steve Randall who is lying on his back under a truck.   
“Hey.” Twobit greets, cracking open a beer. Steve looks up.  
“Oh, what the hell, what is it now? Need some blinker fluid?” He asks, moving out from under the car. 

Sodapop grabs Pony’s arm. They’re on the sidewalk, a few feet from the DX, definitely out of earshot from the other two gang members.   
“Ponyboy Michael!” He snapped, having to take a few deep breaths. Ponyboy stops and looks at him with tears in his eyes.  
“You’re leaving just like mom and dad!” He hollered, his fists balled up. Sodapop is taken back.   
“What?”  
“You’ve stopped talking to me. Last night you got really drunk and you and Twobit are so depressed and it’s not fair! You’re just drinking your feelings and I don’t know why or what I did, but you can’t leave and tear the family apart again!” Pony glares, taking everything he has not to cry. “You offered to finally spend time with me just to make me be quiet, and then thought I was drinking too? Why the hell would I drink? I have nothing to be upset over, and neither do you because we all love you and you’re the sweet one.” Pony sniffles and wipes his nose on his jacket sleeve.   
Soda sighs and opens his arms, embracing his brother, giving him a very tight hug.  
“Ponyboy, I didn’t say that just to make you be quiet, I really will take you to the park. We can swing and talk and you can read me some of that book. I’m sorry I’ve been upsetting you, Pone.” He says and gives him a kiss to the head. Pony hugs him back, even tighter. He nods.   
“I’d like that.”

After work, Pony and Soda get a ride to the park from Twobit. Twobit and Steve decide to go have lunch together at the Dingo, then Twobit will bring a meal back for Soda. Soda and Pony find two seats on the swings, side by side and they try to swing as high as they can. After both of them almost get motion sickness, Soda tells Pony to go ahead and start reading the book to him.   
Pony opens up the book, clears his throat, and begins to read.


End file.
